I Love Penguins

If anybody ever asks,
In life or on a test,
About my favorite animal,
I'll say, "Penguins are the best!"

Penguin men are always dressed
Like they're going to a wedding.
(Ask one if you get a chance,
That may be where he's heading!)

Penguins are, you must admit,
By far the kindest bird.
They never mock the way I talk,
And never called me "nerd".

If you visit a penguin home,
You're in for such a treat...
They'll offer you the nicest chair
And give you fish to eat!

When you're near the elevator,
Penguins always hold the door.
They help old ladies cross the street,
And give money to the poor.

Penguins never cheat at cards,
Or lie or kick or punch.
A penguin never stabbed a dude,
Or stole somebody's lunch.

No animal is perfect, true:
Even penguins have their flaws.
For example their wings are just too short
To properly give applause.

Gentoos always talk too loud,
Adelies are somewhat rude.
Emperors can get annoying
With their royal attitude.

Rockhoppers and chinstraps
Never text when they'll be late.
And Magellanic penguins
Always love the things you hate.

Other animals are cool, I guess,
Like unicorns and bears.
But when compared to penguins,
Why, nothing else compares!

Bears have fur and deadly claws
On each and every leg...
But have you ever seen a bear
That knew how to lay an egg?

I'll admit that I've liked unicorns
Since the day that I was born...
But I can't take one seriously
Till he grows a second horn.

It isn't really fair at all,
Comparing penguins to the rest.
I'll bet even cats and dogs agree
That penguins are the best!

This poem was written for a class project. I was teaching the class —an intermediate English class in Odesa, Ukraine— and asked all my students to write something creative to celebrate a holiday we invented, "Penguin Day". I felt it was only fair that I write something, too.

First poem I ever wrote that I liked. — RWA